The detox decade has been a massive learning curve for me. I’m a personal growth junkie and I will read until I understand. I will put myself in the shoes of another to ensure I know what I am speaking about. I will listen twice as much as I speak to ensure I get the nuances of the language, the real message being told not the surface message.
These are techniques I learned from my coaching program at the Coaches Training Institute several years ago. They are also something I’ve noticed that other people like me seem able to do.
“Other people like me” in this case refers to folks who, I have come to know, didn’t get picked for the team when they were younger. Yup I was that kid.
I hated sports when I was a kid. Actually I hated school mostly because I seemed to be that awkward kid who couldn’t keep up with all the others no matter how hard I tried. I was clumsy and slow despite practising and practising.
Ugh…the days when we had to play a team sport like baseball or soccer I’d want to just go home because I knew I’d be the last one that got picked to be on a team. Standing on the field, watching as each captain picked their star players, their aces and then the ‘you’ll do” players and then me…the very last one…every single time. Ouch. The kids would complain that they had to have me on their team. I just wanted to hide and eventually, because they said I was so bad, I gave up trying to be good.
Now, in my sixties, I see how this has impacted my life. In my world I have come to believe the following. I’m not a joiner but I am a doer. I start things. I have always started things and I realize now that it’s because, if I couldn’t be picked for a team, I’d start my own f***ing team and I’d get to be the leader. I’d sacrifice, I’d give up every ounce of my time to be that leader but it felt like that was the only thing I could do to be accepted.
I’m exhausted thinking about all of this now. I’m so ready to glow with the flow of what my life is. I’m so ready to be part of whatever comes my way.
I have two huskies and I watch them play in our yard. They don’t worry about being part of a team when they are together. They’re sisters and have never been separated. I love that. They know how their relationships work with each other. They don’t worry about who did better or worse: they just be…happy, silly, tired, tails wagging and tongues hanging out after a run in the heat and they’re just perfect.
Put a harness on them and attach them to a dog sled and they’re entirely different. They understand their jobs, they don’t bicker about position, they have a job to do and they get it done. I love watching them this way too. They’re just perfectly happy doing what they do best.
You know what they’ve taught me? It’s ok to go it alone sometimes. It’s also ok to be part of a team. Team work makes the dream work. Time to start working on the dream!